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We blame ourselves for A LOT. Especially this past year.
Did you work hard enough? Could you have made better use of your time? How much money have you wasted marketing your business that didn’t work? How many of you have a pile of shitty tech that you invested in & don’t use? How many of you have purchased downloads online or even paid for an online course & never used it?
How many of you have failed in your business? Failed yourself? Your team? Your customer?
ARE YOU CRINGING YET?
Let me be clear, if you haven’t wasted money on tech, seriously fucked up with a customer, pushed a teammate to hard, bought books you never read….. You aren’t trying hard enough. We are ALL going to do this & the MOST successful people we know have all done that laundry list above.
If your business isn’t where you want it to be right now or maybe it is & you are just innately hard on yourself, let me give you a piece of advice that will help you change your life.
I’m going to start with a story.
Over a year & a half ago, I finally decided to jump into consulting full-time after dipping my toe in it for years. I was so determined to grow as quickly as I could, reach the most amount of people as possible, & really build a business that I was in love with. A business that had freedom, that had joy, that allowed me to do what I loved.
Let me tell you that one of my absolute favorite joys in life is watching someone else succeed. It’s what makes me a great manager, a great leader, & a great coach. When I watch the olympics, see a consultant make their first dress sale, or watch a teammate break their own record, it literally brings tears to my eyes. When a client calls me after a year of hustling, implementing, learning, & reflecting with GCC, to say “I get it. I work less hours, I am happier, I love my team, we are making more money, I love my business”. That phone call brought me happiness FOR WEEKS. (Shoutout to this store, you know who you are haha)
I was SO determined & am still determined to make this happen OVER & OVER again.
And then, my husband joined the military, COVID hit, & businesses I was consulting were SHUT DOWN.
Reflecting back, que the blame game- did I use my time wisely, did I put out the right content, could I have done more, should I have spent all that time on courses, should I have done more webinars, did I really need a new podcast mic, I wish I wouldn’t have ordered all those marketing materials right before our rebrand, and the list goes on.
BUT. If I was going to blame myself for everything I could have done better, I also needed to blame myself for EVERYTHING I did right.
I supported over 50 one-on-one store & design clients through one of the CRAZIEST times we will ever live through. I made a living in an industry that was shut down for MONTHS. I created space on our team to provide side hustles to women entrepreneurs who just needed someone to believe in them, a supportive & encouraging work environment, & a place where they could learn, grow, & put their genius to use. I made educated, well-thought out strategies for businesses to navigate. I spent time creating FREE content for my community that would lead to 10,000 downloads & counting. I got up & got dressed almost every day. I fell in love with a new version of self-care. Not running for a faster mile time or a longer run, but I run because I love it. I’ve never done that. I supported my husband through 8 months of military lockdown & separation. I fell in love with my work & allowed myself the freedom to enjoy it.
If I am going to blame myself for ALL of the mistakes, I have to blame myself for all of the successes as well. As Tony Robbins says,
If you’re going to blame people for all the shit you better blame them for all the good too. If you’re going to give them credit for everything that’s fucked up then you have to give them credit for everything that’s great. I’m not asking you to stop blaming. I’m saying blame elegantly, blame intelligently, blame effectively, blame at the level of your soul not the level of your fucking head.”